Never mind if Scrabulous is gone

IT'S OK. Defrag is here if you need us. We can even give you a hug. Actually we can't. We're not the hugging type, although we understand robots can now take care of that stuff, so it's all good.

We're offering a shoulder for those dismayed that Scrabulous has been kicked off Facebook after a legal stoush with Scrabble's copyright owners.

At this stage, it only applies to players on North American servers - we checked and scored 30 points while doing so - but we're worried that it's just the thin edge of the wedge, the top of the slippery slope, the tip of the iceberg or the first chip in a can of Pringles, which is followed by the eating of all the remaining chips and a period of feeling sick. One day soon, the rest of us may be Scrabuless.

Of course Defrag understands that copyright owners need to protect their intellectual property, but we like this sort of thing when it doesn't affect us.

Should Scrabulous disappear from Facebook, there may be some positives - Defrag will no longer have to be reminded how incredibly bad at it we are, for instance. But the negatives far outweigh the positives. Our ability to waste countless hours will be in jeopardy.

Some of you may argue that Facebook itself is one big hole of time-suckage, but that's not the same thing. Most of the time wastage is caused by signing over your personal information to some unknown third party, so you can use the pointless app du jour, and that only has limited entertainment value.

Playing online word games at least has that veneer of staving-off-dementia-with-mental-stimulation credibility and Defrag is so desperate for a back-up that we're learning how to play Sudoku about five years after it became fashionable.

Repeatedly counting to nine just to avoid doing some work or chores does not sound like the behaviour of a healthy person, and it turns out we are right. A recent article in The Observer suggests procrastination is an affliction that affects one in five people enough to damage their careers and relationships.

It may even affect their health, as they never get around to going to the doctor, which is weird because you'd think sitting around the waiting room for hours reading three-year-old magazines would constitute procrastinator heaven, especially if it got them out of work.

The article also says procrastinators are more likely to have an accident at home because of unrepaired appliances. Initially, Defrag assumed this meant they tripped over them in the back room, until we realised there are even greater procrastinators than us who don't even get around to unplugging devices and putting them in a corner until they get repaired - where they stay until they are thrown out three years later.

Procrastination is apparently on the rise as the net and mobile phones put distractions at our fingertips. Back in Defrag's study days, we were forced to leave our desk to invent an amazing new sandwich or spend hours scouring stationery shops in search of whatever item it was we decided we needed that very second - and it's only getting worse as we get more connected.

In fact, Defrag was so worried about the problem we decided to develop a Facebook app that's a 45-minute test to tell whether you are a procrastinator. At least we will as soon as we find an online shop that stocks exactly the right size Post-It notes and we've had a bite to eat.

TOP 10

This week:
THERE'S no top 10 this week. The topic originally involved US prison escaper spammer Eddie Davidson and in light of subsequent events it's best that we go straight to next week instead.

Next week:
Some people complain that the blue LEDs on devices are interrupting their sleep. Send us the top 10 signs your bedroom has too many gadgets. Answers by Thursday please to OzDefrag@Gmail.com